Dealing with Frustrations

November 17, 2013

Have you seen the new look of Judy Ann Santos (Shes's a Filipino actress.)? So fresh, so vibrant and so sexy! She transformed from a chubby teen idol to a glamorous best actress.

Quite the change, right? You see most of us people are conscious of how we look. When hot trends come up like the latest hairstyle, dress, bag and what not, we want those cool items too. 

This is because we have an innate desire to be complimented and admired for. Oh, those pouty lips of Angelina Jolie or that hourglass figure of Halle Berry!


photo source: here


This reminds me of my experience as a young girl. I always love to play and collect Barbie dolls because they look oh-so-perfect: tall, beautiful, sexy. No wonder, this became my standard for beauty.

So when I became an adult, towering at 5'1", I became insecure. Even if my mom and my boyfriend told me that I’m beautiful just the way I am. Their words still don't satisfy those predefined standards of mine.

The ugly head of insecurity comes up every time my colleagues and advisers urge me to join pageants. It's frustrating! I was never contented with me. And I was never happy.

Thank God, my mindset has been renewed! Freeing myself from those standards made me happier to live my life in a positive way. In fact, I have set 3 rules to deal with my insecurities and frustrations. I've listed them below:


Assess yourself

Distinguish the things that make you feel insecure and assess the impact it brings to your job, health and relationship with others. Once you have identified these, pay attention to your thoughts. 

This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — as well as your interpretation of what the situation means and your beliefs about yourself, other people and events.  

Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. They may be rational — based on reason or facts — or irrational — based on false ideas.


Think positive thoughts

Be kind and encouraging to yourself. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Having negative thoughts doesn’t mean reacting negatively. Like, I can never be that beautiful. Or I can never afford those treatments. 

Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, “What are my strengths? What am I good at?” And then maximize those.

This step can be difficult. Thoughts often occur spontaneously or automatically, without effort on your part. It can be hard to control or turn off your thoughts. Thoughts can be very powerful and it takes time and effort to learn how to recognize and replace distressing ones with constructive ones. 


Find contentment

Dwelling in insecurities or frustrations is a waste of time, feelings and emotions. Stop comparing yourself to others. It will just trigger depression and low self-esteem.

Never ever undervalue yourself. You have something special in you too. It may be talent, a certain set of skills. Who knows? You have to discover it yourself.

Nurture those talents or discover a new skill. You are the captain of your ship and no one can take that away from you. What we see and hear around us affects the way we think and feel emotionally as well as physically.

Achieving a balanced, positive view of oneself and accepting our value as a human being may help us feel happier and more confident.


Judy Ann may look great! Of course, she has to maintain her image as an actress. But I'd use it as an inspiration to become a better me.

Celebrate your uniqueness! Get better and Grow to your full potential. After all, we only got one life. Believe it can be done. And when you do, everything else will fall into place.

Let me share to you a short story. According to the natural laws of physics pertaining to aviation, bees cannot fly. Because their bodies are too heavy for their wings to carry and it is not built for flying. But because bees believe they can, they defy the natural law of physics.

And just like bees, we too can achieve things greater than ourselves. It’s just a matter of 'bee-living' in ourselves.



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