The Illusion of Control: A Life Lesson

Why can't things go the way we want them to? When you thought things are under control, then another one comes along. Geez!

Our little boy is usually awakened at 5 o'clock in the morning due to an itchy skin condition on his body called eczema. On aggravating nights (or dawn), he makes sure to wake mom or dad to comfort him or carry him.

Other times, he is awakened out of habit (still itching by the way). If he finds his family asleep, he will go back to bed on his own. But when he finds mommy still holding the Kindle in one hand, he makes sure to use that extra resource and order that I sit down and massage his little body so he could go back to dreamland in luxury. (lol)

Toddlers can be quite controlling when there's something they want met. Sometimes it's cute like one time, he demanded his daddy out of the room, insisting him to go back to the office so he could have mommy all to himself. (lol)

But when it's 5am and you're groggy, waiting for sleep to come, then that's a different story. The little boy directs mommy or daddy's act like we're some actors in a set playing the script he wrote.

He thought he has control of the situation or of mom or dad, but that's only an illusion. Toddlers don't understand how the world works yet. They aren't born with it. But one day they will, we hope.

The Illusion of Control: A Life Lesson
[Photo by Dawid ZawiƂa on Unsplash]

The reality is, nobody can control the twists and turns of life or how people should act.

We take steps, we make plans, but we won't know how it'll turn out. We say the right things, do the right stuff but sometimes they fall apart.

We can't control what people do either. If they want to talk behind your back or in front, yes, on social media, then they are only exercising their freedom of choice.

One day, people will love you. The next, you're the subject of the two minutes of hate. (Channeling 1984 by George Orwell here.)

Can you stop them? Never!

We thought we are in control but what we hold is only the illusion of control. We do this for peace's sake, for security.

But just because you can't doesn't mean it's okay to be out of control yourself. Life may cut you down. Friends may avoid you. Spouses may abandon you. Children may hate you.

If there's one area you can exercise control of, that will be on yourself and your response to the situation.

You are your own responsibility, save for the little ones under your roof who can't tell what's right from left. If you don't, someone or something else will take over and you will not like the end result. You can't even run your spouse's course or your adult children's lives for that matter.

You are not powerless over your situation. There's always a way to get through it. Find it! Most of the time, the solution is right under your nose.

In fact, this happened to me and my husband many times. We don't see because our eyes are so fixed on the door that has been closed. We keep banging it to open back when a new one has been opened all along. Let it go and move on!

You might also like to read the post: What Will Your Story Be? A Dull, Monotonous History Or A Riveting, Compelling Tale? here.

Also, you must realize others can't control or manipulate you to do something unless you allow them to. Whatever you choose will still be your decision. You can't blame anybody for it but you.

You can't change others but you can always start the change in you. You may not be able to control when things break down or how people should act but you can always control your response.

So when things don't go the way you want them to or when things fall apart one after another, what will you do? Will you take over and look for an answer or a way out, or will you let the chaos do it for you?

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