I would have loved to see the tulip blooms near Dows Lake this spring. Ah, that place. That's where we experienced our first Winterlude festival. See here. Today, however, I'm content strolling with my son around the small green space below our apartment building.
Two months. I haven't been out of our apartment unit since the lockdown. The husband suggested I need to get out. Release the tension. Breathe. Work out the muscles.
Why did it take me that long to get out? Was I scared? Was I busy? How are you spending your time during the quarantine? Work? Zoom meetings? I have none of those. I lost my job. Though, I was preoccupied with taking care of our toddler. Physically and emotionally I sure was utilized. Puff!
Thank God, I listened to the hubby that day. Taking that walk was a nice release.
How are you releasing the tension?
[photo source]
Gray. The future is uncertain. The plan to go back home to Texas was delayed until things return to how it should be. Though I wonder... is there still a home we could go back to?
We have a choice. I told the husband. We could sell our house back in Texas. The liability is causing us pressure. The mortgage payment. The stress is in the pressure. If we remove the liability. The thing that's sucking the life out of us. We would no longer be bothered by it.
What's causing your pressure? Can you exercise choice over them?
Red. The itchy skin condition on my son's body no longer bothers me as much. It was still there but the flare-ups happen less often now.
My perspective changed during a visit to a long-time acquaintance of the husband's. I saw a situation far more difficult than ours. That family, however, handled the situation with much grace and dignity.
For a year or two, I prayed, Where are you, God? When will my son be healed? Silence. But He is there all long. I didn't see it because I wasn't looking. My eyes are so fixed on my desired result that I failed to see His supply of strength, comfort, and grace to take care of my son.
What is that thing that keeps bothering you? Perhaps you need a perspective change?
Green. The tree right next to our apartment building is already full of fresh leaves. The dandelions adorned the ground. Everywhere I look, I could see the promise of a new beginning.
One day this dark history will be behind us. I hope we all come out better after this.
Indeed, we cannot control the events and circumstances of life.
Will you let this difficult time break you? Or will spur your attention to look forward to a brighter tomorrow? The choice is yours.
***
When they come together on the bland pale canvas of this lockdown world, they form a beautiful masterpiece. A unique object of art. To shape an artwork of a better you.
