Dealing with Frustrations

November 17, 2013

Have you seen the new look of Judy Ann Santos? So fresh, so vibrant and so sexy! She transformed from a chubby teen idol to a glamorous best actress.

Quite a change, right? You see people are too conscious on how they look. When we see something new like a new hair cut, hair color, dress and the like we also want to have those stuff’s. Others tend to be so vain that they wish they had the pouty lips of Angelina Jolie or the coca-cola body of Halle Berry.

I remembered my experience when I was young. I always love to play and collect Barbie dolls because they are beautiful, tall and sexy. It soon became my standard for beauty. So when I grew up I became upset because I didn’t meet my standards. Even if my mom and my boyfriend told me that I’m beautiful it still didn’t made me confident. What makes it worst is when my colleagues and advisers urge me to join pageants which leads me to get even more frustrated.

Why? For the fact that I lack 5 more inches. I was never contented with what I have and the effect: I was never happy. But that was before. I have moved on and live my life the positive way.

In fact I have set 3 rules to deal with my insecurities and frustrations.

First, assess yourself. Distinguish the things that makes you feel insecure and assess the impact it brings to your job, health and relationship with others. Once you have identified these, pay attention to your thoughts related to them. This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — as well as your interpretation of what the situation means and your beliefs about yourself, other people and events. Your thoughts and beliefs may be positive, negative or neutral. They may be rational — based on reason or facts — or irrational — based on false ideas.

Second, think positive. Be kind and encouraging to yourself. Pessimism can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Having negative thoughts doesn’t mean you must choose to react negatively. Instead, think of them as signals to use new, healthy thinking patterns. Ask yourself, “Which of my assets can help me respond in a constructive way?” This step can be difficult. Thoughts often occur spontaneously or automatically, without effort on your part. It can be hard to control or turn off your thoughts. Thoughts can be very powerful and it takes time and effort to learn how to recognize and replace distressing ones with constructive ones.

And lastly, be contented. Dwelling in insecurities and frustrations is just a waste of your time, feelings and emotions. Stop comparing yourself to others. It will just trigger depression and low self esteem. Don’t undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. You may not be beautiful according to the world's standards but you have something unique others may not have. It maybe talent, wisdom and so on. Heads up and do things the best you can. Nurture talents or discover a new skill. You are the captain of your ship and no one can take that away from you.

What we see and hear around us indeed affects the way we think and feel emotionally as well as physically. Achieving a balanced, positive view of oneself and accepting our value as a human being may help us feel happier and more confident. 

Judy Ann did look great! Of course, she has to maintain her image as an actress. But that doesn’t mean that because her new look is the trend we also have to follow. Let us just be creative and be ourselves as long as it won’t sacrifice our health, job and relationship with others. Just believe that it can be done. And when you, really believe, your mind will find ways to do it. Let me share to you a short story. According to the natural laws of physics pertaining to aviation bees cannot fly. Because their bodies are too heavy for their wings to carry and it is not built for flying. But because bees believe they can, they defy the natural law of physics. And like bees we too can reach things far beyond our expectations and that makes us feel and look more beautiful in the inside out. It’s just a matter of 'bee-living' in ourselves.

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